becoming cat woman

Tonight I had dinner with my brother and mother.  It was a touching evening.  We were all busy for the official mother's day so we decided to go get dinner the next week.  My brother and I went to the store and we bought our mother flowers before we met her.  I use the term "we" loosely because when I turned to look at Johnnie (my brother) and say "what do you think of these?".  He was long gone.  I thought he had been kidnapped.  But no.  I found him a few aisles over looking at magazines he has never read or ever been interested in. Sooooo looking at flowers for our mother is so boring that he ran and needed to feed his head with any information he had.  If I saw him reading Martha Stewart I would have not been surprised.  I actually said "what are you reading??" and his response was "I don't know".

So anyway.....we got o the restaurant.  Mom was not there.  I put the flowers on the table.  The server greeted us and asked "what are we celebrating today?".  I wanted to tell her that the man across from me was my younger brother and he brings me flowers and takes me to dinner every other day.  But instead I made us sound like terrible terrible people.  My response was "Well we are taking our mom out to dinner for mother's day. We didn't last week because we were really busy."  What I meant was....WE ALL WERE.  But the server only heard "my brother and I hate our mom"

Then the lady of the day showed up!  I may or may not have acted like she was the starring lead in a broadway musical.  BUT LET'S JUST SAY PEOPLE WERE IMPRESSED!  I gave her the flowers and she loved them.  And being a person coming out of a vajayjay who has a vajayjay.  I will tell you men, there is nothing better than seeing your mom feel appreciated and loved.  You wouldn't know, you stone cold sons a bitches.

Fast forward, we had a lovely dinner.  Then we all started talking. (lightning was our family cat growing up.  I named her.  And yes....before you ask...if was because she was super fast)

me-  "mom do you still have those books I wrote as a child?"
Johnnie- "Books?? What books?? Oh hey mom, remember when Holly was a child prodigy and wrote all those books?  What happened to those?"
me-  "I DID write books, I was asked to go to conferences.  Remember the one about lightning??"
mom- "yes remember she wrote that story about lightning in the third grade?  She made the book to be shaped like a cat?"
Johnnie- "oh yeah.  I would hardly call that a book.  It was basically 'A story about lightning'...I love cats!...the end."
me-  IT WAS NOTHING LIKE THAT AT ALL!!!!!
mom-  "Holly was a very talented writer"
Johnnie- "she wrote short stories about our pets"
me-  "I wrote books about our life."