The last time I posted I felt like I had really dropped the ball. However, now seeing that the last post I made was at the end of July, I feel like I have beat myself in that arena. Oh well, shit happens and you get busy right? Or maybe not so busy.
So the piece of shit manager I had before quit at the beginning of July...I suppose it was actually the last week of June. So pick a time and we will go from there. So since then two other girls and I have been running the store. Then just a week ago in a very unfortunate turn of events I became the only employee. How? You might ask. Well here is how.
I hired a girl, who in the interview seemed great. She had a very bubbly personality and was very nice. These things along with the fact that I was desperate to get a fourth person working so I could finally have a normal schedule, made me overlook the fact that she was dressed for a trailer park beach themed party. I sometimes see what I want to see. That day I chose to see a nice girl in a sun dress on a warm day. I think sometimes I might hallucinate. So I hired her. Awesome job to me. I saved all our problems and we would finally be able to all work normal hours. It would be glorious.
Cut to three weeks later. The personality I took for "bubbly" was a bat shit crazy woman who would not shut the fuck up. EVER. I counted the times I said "uh huh" and "yeah" without her knowing. 134 being the highest in one conversation. She was the type of person that makes you feel exhausted after talking to them. She was an energy sucker. She also had no filter between her brain and her mouth. I know a lot of people who technically "lack filter" but she takes the cake. She would walk in talking about the blow job she gave her fiance the night before while customers were in the store. She would discuss the never ending grotesque details of her sex life with customers and the other employees as well. So not only was this a situation where she was soul draining and exhausting; but also vulgar and disgusting. Then I also found out she had been talking about everyone to everyone else behind their backs.
I suppose I could have gone about things in a better and nicer manner but this bitch just wouldn't let that happen. Every time I tried to sit her down and have a talk about these things and try to address what I needed her to do, she would just wander off in mid-discussion or start talking about her mutant farm hand fiance. It was like trying to have a conversation with a butterfly. You think it is going to sit still and then there it goes and flies the fuck off. So since she wouldn't listen I had to be the bad guy. She had called my rules stupid. The rules I made were "Do not discuss your sex life with customers" and "Do not watch movies on your kindle on the floor". They were stupid rules. Because it is so ridiculous that they have to actually be rules that yes they are stupid. But homegirl was so dense she didn't even realize the small list of rules were about her.
Then she proceeded to tell everyone that I "think I am more attractive than I really am." Now this really pissed me off. I have never once twirled around the sales floor, or brushed my hair in front of a mirror, or demanded to come into work riding a white horse. I have never asked the mirror who is the fairest of them all, and then laugh manically as if the mirror said my name. I also never talk about "oh this guy totally likes me". Normally if I say anything about my looks it is in a sarcastic and self depreciating manner. Either she doesn't get sarcasm or she is living in a bigger fantasy world than I am. And the one I live in is a god damned kingdom with villages and shit.
So she had to go, so I let her go. Then I was left with the crew I had before. We were back to three people. Luckily I had explained to the other girls, who had been begging me to fire her, that they would help pick up the extra slack until we found a new person. It would be one maybe two weeks. They agreed and said they would be happy to. Well shit doesn't fucking work out sometimes. They abandoned the plan and one quit for "school" reasons saying work was too much for her to take on with school also. Which I find complete bullshit because I went to school and worked full time when I went to college. So I am assuming she had some kind of mental handicap I was unaware of and that it was an obstacle she was struggling with in private. So kudos to her for living with her secret for so long. God speed.
The other girl came down with a horrible condition called pregnancy. Apparently you catch it from men. Anyways it seems horrific. There is a lot of vomiting and falling asleep. I mean I would be cool with the sleep thing but purging my guts out ever few hours sound like something I would like to pass on. This pregnancy is also with her husband who she was separated from and planning on divorcing. But guess what?!?!?! Baby magic isn't only a shampoo. There is also baby magic that somehow repairs relationships and makes you fall in love again. Or it makes you realize you are stuck with that fucking person now for the rest of your life so suck it up and make the best of it. I am thinking that was the choice she made. She decided she was so sick that she could no longer go on. Without calling and letting me know or giving me any heads up she did a no call no show. So I was left.....the....only employee.
This has put me in a nice place though. I now get to start over from scratch. I have hired two new girls who so far seem to be working out well. They seem to be good workers and are responsible. So far neither one of them have talked to a single customer about their sex lives so that is a major plus. I mean I am already ahead of the game. I have maintained a professional ruse and things are going exactly as I like them. I mean as good as they are going to go. The icing on the cake is that I just signed onto salary right before this little empire crumbled to the ground. So I am averaging almost 80 hour work week and will for the next month at least. I am not getting anything extra. But I will live with it. I am lucky to have a job and I get to stay away from people most of the time. I get to read books and now will have lots of time to work on this little blog that I have put on the back burner for so long.
