Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Quitting my job.

     So I quit my job.  Which is sort of okay because it is one of three.  So...I mean I still have two others going for me right?  Not so bad.   I am SO happy.  This is going to be a story about why and how I quit.  So sit back.  Grab a cup of hot cocoa/wine/tea and let's go.
     I tried to move to Toledo last January.  It was a fucking fail.  Like a for real fucking fail. Definitely in the top 10 worst ideas I have had.  I dealt with it as long as I could (two months) and then did what everyone does at 29.  I came home and cried to my parents and said I couldn't do it.  In my defense, I had a gun pulled on me twice.  I wasn't ready for any of this new life on the real streets.  I saw my life spiralling out of control and me eventually selling crack out of a box on Reynolds.  I say Reynolds because that is the only road that is stuck in my head. I think I have a lot of repressed memories from those two months.  And you know what?  Let's keep those the fuck there.
     So I moved back!!! YAYYY!!!! Out of the ghetto and back into the land of suburbia.  I could have then chosen to make a rap career for myself but I wanted to keep myself grounded.  So I rented a little apartment for me and the catz.  I searched around for jobs.  But I didn't want to serve anymore or really do anything I had done before.  Which would have been just a) serving or b) bartending.  I did for a while work for that victoria store but I couldn't go back to that because let's face it.  It's really hard to be like "heyyyy, how are you doing today?!  We have some awesome specials!  ::yada yada yada::...now can I measure your tits??  Come onnnnn!!!!".  No thank you.  So instead I chose a Tuxedo place.  Because I felt weird measuring tits, but for some reason I felt really comfortable on my knees measuring a guy around his crotch.  I guess it's one of those "more experience" type deals.  I've visited a male crotch or two but I very rarely insist on measuring my friends breast area.
      So I get hired.  Shit. goes. down. from. jump. street.   I am hired in as assistant manager.  Whooo hoooo!!! But I don't start for another week. Well when I go to start my first days I realize there is another girl...WHOM I HAVE NEVER MET...because called assistant manager.  Yeah....what a bitch.  Anyway her name was....let's say Crystal.  Because that is a trashy name and well she was trashy.  She wore clothes that were tight but...like Union Bay and she still thought they looked slammin'.  Her 18 year old fiance always came in to see her, and she was 24!!  So it was like "what are you doin' bitch?!"  Which might come off ghetto but remember I am just back fresh off the streets of T-town.   Apparently, as the story was uncovered, it turned out, that she had threatened to quit and since they needed someone with a bad root job, they were like..."okay".  So she got my position.  When I start my job I am already at a pay cut and now just a part time mayyybe full time position.
     I was okay with that.  Because I enjoy going with the flow...which can also read, "I don't stand up for myself".  So I do that.  I train myself because no one else did.  Which wasn't too hard but let's give me some credit because well....dammit I deserve it.  So now it is April.  I am two months in the tuxedo biz.  White trash Mcgee decides she can't handle the pressure so she quit.  I am thinking "finally!!!  I've only been telepathically telling you to do that for 8 weeks."  I convince myself I am a witch.  But maybe just a slow one. I am of course.  OF COURSE.  going to immediately sky rocket to assistant manager.  Right?
     FUCKING WRONG.  I did not.  I go through Prom season.  Which is horrible.   Prom moms.....you are the WORST.  Your son is going to look like shit in a tux okay?  He is either lanky and can't fill one out or has odd proportions.  They are in high school.  He isn't going to look like a fucking red carpet celebrity.  So I live through that horror show.  Praise the lord.  The hiring manager was the worst.  She enjoyed sitting in the back pretended to have migraines that were brought on by being in the Marines.  WHICH SHE WAS NEVER EVEN REALLY A PART OF.  She went to boot camp and then had an honorable discharge due to migraines.  Which were obviously not real.  However, if you talked to her it was as if she had weathered the worst wars imaginable.  When really.....all she did was go to an intensive fat camp.  JUST SAYING.
     So I wanted her gone.  So I killed her.  LOLOLOL J/K  didn't do that at all.  I just hoped maybe she would stop entering my life so often and God could do with my prayer what he thought right.  I gave it to Jesus. Well last week of June hits.  She goes on vacation, we are ALL on vacation!!!  Because we don't have to hear about her fake migraines or about "her kids" which were her boyfriend of 6 month's.  (weirdoooo)
     So she came back.  And she said the things I had been hoping to hear for so so long.  This was on a Monday f.y.i.  she said "I want you to know Saturday is my last day.  I could have fallen to the floor, on my knees crying.  It was the move the other girls and I had been praying for.  I actually used the restroom to look in the mirror and say"this is really happening!!".  Then I mirror Oprah hugged myself.  I knew she was gone and we would have a better new manager soon.  ::::Oh and yes, at this point I am STILL not assistant manager. The position I was hired for:::
     In the first few weeks the store was filled with light and love.  We were so happy to her gone.  The three of us knowing something had to be done were excited!  Let's turn the store around we thought!!  No one could ever do worse than that bag of flesh!  (LOL harsh but hilarious).  So July starts...nothing from corporate....then august hits...nothing from corporate.   This entire time.  Weddings are not stopping.  The three of us are making sure every wedding goes as well as planned.  But we suck, because no one trained us and no one has contacted us to let us know what the fuck is going on.  I imagine at this point it was like leaving an astronaut on the moon and saying "make sure it isn't out of cheese".  But how can you?  WHEN NO ONE IS CALLING OR CHECKING?!?!
     So finally I say "I want to be manager" because I mean if I am going to be working this hard why wouldn't I want salary.  This is a life lesson I learned the hard way.  The big guys come down and tell me it is great that I throw my hat in the ring.  Which might as well be a fucking hula hoop in the actual room we are in. Because no one else is throwing anything.  So we wait....again.  Well they decide to hire a nice guy.  A GUY....go figure.  They are over the moon with this guy.  They might as well be jacking off into the "ring" and spelling out his name in semen they are so excited.  AND HE IS INCREDIBLE.  So incredible he leaves 2-3 hours early every day and lasts 2 weeks.  Was it two?  Oh shit...I don't know....maybe
     So he leaves.  The big guys come down again and I am like "I want to run this store.  I have no idea what I was after.  Or what fucking validation I would somehow get from doing this, but I wanted it."  I make horrible decisions, ask my friends...or look at past lovers.
     They cave....finally...muahahhaha with no one else in the entire area willing to take the position they give it to me.  Looks like I win this one, Tux biz.  So the first week of October hit. I am now manager.  There is a new store in wretched Toledo as well.  They focus on Toledo.  I learn what I can myself.  Out of urgency we hire a girl to add to the staff of three that we had.  Well homegirl liked to talk about her and her horrifically unfortunately looking fiance's sex life....nonstop...to customers.   So since I think sometimes, I was like...ughhhh noooo that is not what we want to do on the sales floor. I hoped she would get it.  But instead she made fun of my rules.  You know who makes fun of my rules?!!!  NO ONE.  So I ripped them down and asked her what was so stupid about "1. DON'T DISCUSS SEX LIFE WITH CUSTOMERS"
      After that it really doesn't matter because she was fire.  Since we all didn't like the sex maniac, we agreed we would work through it and she could be gone.  We would have to do a few shifts alone but in the end it would be worth it.  Here is what really happened:  first Sunday....a 6 hour shift from 12-6 suddenly broke the college student who I knew was just a matter of time before she quit so whatever this really sucks UGH whatevz. BUT BUT BUT 2) My assistant and great friend gets pregnant and gets sick to the point they put her on bed rest after she goes to the ER.  I am left.....FUCKING ALONE.
     You know who comes to help me?  No one.  I keep the store running from open to close every day.  I had 3 days that other people came in to help so I could have time away.  This is all a week after they told me I was salary.  This goes on until the end of November.  No one is doing interviews, no one is helping clients or me with anything I need. It is me week after week.  Finally we have some people trained and I get my first real week the second to last of November.
     At the end of November they want to talk to me on my day off.  Not a good sign.  They tell me that they are closing the Lima store, moving the manager to my store, I am stepping down and back to hourly.  Yeah.  That is how they did it.  So they asked if I was okay with that.  I said yes, because what the fuck do you say to that.  You say "I AM SO THRILLED"  or "NO"?? Then they say "okay, goodbye."
     So the new manager comes.  I like her, much more than everyone said.  She is lovely and nice.  She does a great job.  We work together until a few weeks ago.  I had taken a sick day in December.  The slowest of our months.  Apparently it was a big fucking deal. Corporate came down and talked to me about my hours.  Which I found INCREDIBLY interesting since NO ONE had EVER come down when I was working open to close for almost 2 months and said "hey we need to talk about your pay and hours".  So for real what the fuck is that.
      The final straw (which humors me that is was final considering how ridiculous everything else has been) was the new manager, after everyone was gone, showed me a paper that said my clock ins had to be altered and this was my last and final warning.  I had never received a first or second.  The policy as explained to me was "if you mess up, email susie, it is fixed"  that seemed to work for everyone else.
       How fucked up is that?   No one....especially Susie was concerned when I was working alone open to close.  No one was concerned about me needing help in training.  AND NO ONE EVEN KNEW MY FUCKING NAME.   SO the lesson here kids is....go to Men's Wearhouse.  Share this with as many people as possible, support fair work ethics.  Let us stand up and fight against the businesses who who hold us down.
     So I got that message.  It took a lot to hold it together.  Because I thought of how many things I had put aside for the company and made sure I did the best I could.  When I left I cried. I cried one of those defeated cries where it hurts to inhale.  I went back to work the next day and I looked around at the suits and thought about the money people spend on the suits to go to a funeral.  I thought about the culture of making people spend money to be in a great day for their friends.  And then I thought about how much of assholes the company had been to me.
    So I took an early break and never came back.  I walked over to a bar across the street, had a shot, played beer pong, and drank until my boyfriend picked me up.  He then bought me a kitten calendar.  Because he is awesome and I love him.  It was one of the best days ever.
 

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Coffee

I've been drinking a lot of coffee lately.  I like it.  I am not sure if I like it because it wakes me up or if it is because the topic of coffee fills in a lot of “grown up” conversations these days.  I am getting more and more antisocial.  I recently decided to cut down on drinking alcohol.  That isn't what has changed my behavior.  No, in fact the most drinking I have done is on my own at home.  I suppose that sounds depressing.  But it isn't.  I’d much rather be drunk, listen to the music I want to, and not have some discussion with someone else telling me their drunk opinions that I don’t give a fuck about.  Or pretending to like someone or make them interesting when the only way it works is by drinking so much I don't remember them at all the next day.  Instead I'm giving it up because I wanted to.  I guess I'm not really “giving it up” per se, but we are taking some time apart.  I started making myself pretty sick and the two bottles of wine wasn’t cutting it anymore.  I’d be puking and shaky for days after.  So I just decided enough was enough.  If I were honest and open about that with a lot of people they would probably tell me that I should go to AA.  Well that is stupid.  I mean, I am sure it works out for some people but not me.  I feel like it is a club of a bunch of people I have nothing in common with.  Except drinking….but I mean if we are going by that definition then I probably belong to a shit ton of clubs.  I haven’t missed my wine.  I thought I would.

I used to use a lot of cocaine.  I liked coke.  I liked it a lot.  I did it every day from sunrise to sunfall…and a lot in between.  I see these bullshit posters a bunch of girls make that take about watching the sunset or sunrise.  It’s in a pretty font and often shared on places like pinterest or facebook.  Every time I see one I think “hmmm they’ve never done drugs.”   I don’t think anyone has seen the sunrise and sunsets more than those who have dabbled in a drug or two.   Sunsets were always awesome.  Sunrises usually came with a lot of guilt and coming down is never fun.  So sometimes you pull a bender. 

Yet, with my love affair of cocaine, one day I just woke up and thought “I don’t want to do this anymore”  It wasn’t some great epiphany or anything amazing.   I wasn't thinking “there is so much more to life than this!!!”.   No, it basically came from a place of laziness.  I decided maybe I loved sleep and money more than nightlife and being broke.  So I stopped.  End of story. 

Same thing with cigarettes.  I feel bad that most of the people I know are governed by them.   I smoked because I liked to.  It was nice for awhile, way better when I was drunk.   I did spend some time in my life buying cigarette packs daily.  But I don’t exactly know why.  Oh wait, that was probably in the coke phase.  That would explain it.  That dwindled down more and more and more.  Then I realized I was smoking a pack a week.  So I woke up one morning and thought, “this is really dumb”.  So I quit.

I suppose I am lucky in the area of will power.  But it isn't even will power.  It’s more or less I let a part of who I think I am go.  I let something define me and take up my time.  It’s easy to fall into categories that way.  It’s easier to make friends and have things to do.  How many people am I going to find who like to go antiquing?  Not too many.  How many people can I find to drink and party with?  Usually whoever you run into is down for some kind of genre in the art of partying.  

I guess that the older I am getting the less I am into hanging out with people for superficial reasons.  I am even less into hanging out with people to just hang out.  I know who I like.  I have friends who have been my friends forever.  They aren't based around any of these things.  They also aren't based on talking about old times and bringing them up constantly.  I mean, my friends and I do engage in that every so often.  However, we are comfortable with each other.  Not on a boring level, but on a level that I can sit and say nothing with them or I can list every thing on my mind.  We get each other and we care.  Even though I really like being alone and being antisocial is my new favorite thing.  I like those people. 


So to sum things up….coffee, less drinking, antisocial, sticking with old friends.